It’s Britney, Bitch

With Britney on an official hiatus and planning her much anticipated wedding, I have decided to compile a list of Britney’s Top 10 performances throughout her amazing career. Since the likelihood of hearing new Britney music is slim to none in the next few years (producer Benny Blanco hinted to a 2014 release) I suppose I’ll have to manage with past inspiration. Let’s all pray to the Britney Gods that she at least appears on a Nicki Minaj track or makes a speedy return to music by the beginning of 2013. Anyway, here is my list of my favorite Britney performances and her most legendary…

10. Till The World Ends – Femme Fatale Tour 2011

Despite what people say about Britney’s lack of dance moves as of late, there are times when Ms. Spears shows a spark of interest and really engages in the choreography which in return makes her look interested. Whether it be the amount of medication she is on or the fact that she has “nothing to prove”, Britney made a welcomed return to dancing on The Femme Fatale Tour and showed much improvement with every ongoing date.

9. Baby One More Time – MTV Music Video Awards 1999

Must we not forget the performance that started her string of legendary MTV VMA performances! Hot of the success of Baby…One More Time, Britney rocked the VMA stage like a veteran and showed the world she wasn’t messing around. This is the performance that separated her from all her peers and proved to the world that she was an equal contender and a true pop phenomenon.

8. Breathe On Me – Rai Due Live (In The Zone Promo Tour) 2003

Yowza! Shedding her ‘good girl’ image undeniably and looking like a sleep deprived club hopping nymphomaniac, Britney came back with a progressive new sound and an accompanied sexed up image. What I like most about this performance is the intimate and minimal setting, but with a banging body and a steamy song you really don’t need more than that, do you? It’s a mystery why Breathe On Me never became a single considering it had mass appeal and much potential to be a massive hit.

7. Me Against The Music – American Music Awards 2003

Britney opened the American Music Awards with a huge bang! Dropping from the ceiling in a silver metallic ensemble only to reveal her svelte figure in a laced up purple bustier, Brit Brit performed her new single and gave the world a sneak peek of what her massive Onyx Hotel Tour would be like. My favorite part of this performance is when the track morphs into the Rishi Rich Desi Kulcha Remix…which every Britney fan knows should have been the lead mix of Me Against The Music!

6. Stronger – American Music Awards 2001

Ohhh the good ol’ days…Britney was dating JT, flaunting her six-pack abs, dancing her sweet ass off and rocking her signature one sleeve gypsy-esque creation! The world was in order, there was harmony in the universe and the future was bright for Britney (for a while anyway). The best part? The bit where Britney is surrounded by a circle of back-up dancers and breaks down with the “bada bopada, I’m stronggger” part…it’s like bitch don’t pretend your microphone was suddenly on and you were singing live for a minute. Who cares though…it’s Britney, bitch!

5. Everytime – Saturday Night Live 2003

It goes without saying that Britney isn’t known for her incredible vocal abilities and instead known for her dance appeal and stage presence, but when she does display her true vocals live Britney sounds quite lovely. It’s a shame that Britney doesn’t showcase her song writing skills more often through personal experiences and hardships. Let’s hope we hear more of a vulnerable side and receive another monster of a ballad on future releases from Brit Brit.

4. Toxic – In The Zone ABC Special 2003

Let’s keep it real, shall we? Britney’s dance moves in this performance are untouchable and no other pop-star at their pinnacle could ever come close to dancing the way Britney did. The choreography is a sexy fast-paced frenzy of dips, twirls & thrusts while Ms. Spears works the floor in high heels and makes it all look so simple. And just to clarify, I do love other pop-stars…but mainly only Rihanna and Gaga…and sometimes Beyonce but really only Sasha Fierce Beyonce so she doesn’t really count.

3. I Got That (Boom Boom) – Total Request Live 2003

Amazing song…Check! Toned body…Check! Flawless dancing…Check! Live Vocals? CHECK! Britney was not fucking around when it came time to promote for In The Zone and with the haters at bay Britney definitely had something to prove with all the controversy and negativity surrounding her. This performance is a clear example of what made Britney such an outstanding pop star and brilliant performer. Her collaboration with The Ying Yang Twins was a fresh, fun surprise and was a precursor of what her new sound would eventually become.

2. I Can’t Get No Satisfaction/Oops.. – MTV Video Music Awards 2000

I still remember watching this performance as a baby-gay in my best friends basement and being completely in awe of what I just witnessed. We watched in shock and amazement and were completely flabbergasted by what was happening before our eyes! “OMG…is she naked?…I think she’s naked…Katie, she’s fucking NAKED!!” The striptease into the flesh sparkly bodysuit is EVERYTHING and still continues to “inspire” other “pop stars” today (fuck off J-Lo) and wannabes (get a life Heidi Montag). This performance gave me goosebumps and still does to this day. Britney is a ferociously talented entertainer who oozes sex appeal and absolutely demands to be watched!

1. I’m A Slave 4 U – MTV Video Music Awards 2001

Uh, duhhhh! Taking a huge risk by debuting a brand new single off her upcoming third album, Britney performed I’m A Slave 4 U for the first time at the 2001 MTV VMA’s to an eager crowd and suspenseful viewers. In an era before internet leaks, shoddy youtube videos and social networking sites; all eyes were on Britney and the pressure to deliver another legendary VMA performance worthy of her title as VMA Queen was high. The Prince-inspired Neptunes produced lead track was a fresh sound for Britney and a sound very few pop stars were experimenting with at the time. With fast intricate choreography, outstanding visual presentation, and daring stage props; Britney earned her title as a pop innovator and remarkable performer.

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